Marriage Prep

Planning a wedding is quite an experience. I am so thankful that we chose to have such a long engagement, because I feel like it has helped me keep a nice balance between real life and the stresses of planning. Our lengthy engagement has allowed me to take my time with decisions and to have the pick of whatever vendors I wanted, which saved me a great deal of headache. On the other hand, a long engagement also gives you the time to overanalyze, second guess, and completely obsess over every detail. At this point in time, I am incredibly confident in all of the choices I have made up to this point. The only thing I find myself thinking from time to time is how I wish I had a wedding planner. Majority of the time I am happy with the choice of not spending the money on it because I’ve had so much time and because I know I am totally capable of doing it myself. It is actually something I really happen to enjoy. But about 10% of the time, mostly during my 3-4 am mind wandering at work, when I am thinking about all the little details and questions I need answered, I find myself wondering if it would have made my life easier to have a wedding planner. There’s just so many pieces and parts to think about to make the whole puzzle come together. I catch myself thinking someone who does this for a living would know all of these things they need to think about and to ask, and that they would be able to make sure my ideas come together into one cohesive picture. But then usually when I wake up in the afternoon after work, I realize I am confident that I can do this on my own. Well not entirely on my own, I have lots of helpers in my family and friends, thankfully.

I came across this post the other day on Facebook, The bride I swore I’d never be, similar but not entirely true for me. I don’t obsess all that much, although I do find myself stalking wedding related Instagram pages, my favorite wedding blogs, and I tend to frequent Pinterest, and really, really like to talk about my wedding. Okay, maybe I obsess a little. But I really do feel that Doug and I have this part figured out. We know that this is about more than one day. We know it is about a lifetime. For that reason we have been preparing ourselves not only for the wedding event, but for our marriage. Back in my Valentine’s post, I mentioned that I would later share the gift I got for Doug. Well, it was really a gift for the both of us. I bought four books that I had found on my favorite wedding blog, Southern Weddings. When they feature a wedding, they almost always ask the couple “in what ways did you prepare for your marriage?”. I read through a lot of these to find ideas for Doug and I, and came up with so many. The four books I chose are: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan, The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller, and Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. We chose to start with The 5 Love Languages and have committed to reading a chapter each day until we complete all four. We miss days here and there but overall have done really well sticking with the plan. I am finding it has quickly become one of my favorite parts of the day. We put our phones away, keep the TV off, and really focus on each other and what we are reading. Revealing our love languages and learning ways to share our love in the ways the other person receives it has already made changes for the better in our relationship. I think we pretty much already knew our personal love language as well as each others, but now we are more aware of them and how to make the other person feel loved. I’m not sure that we will be able to make it through all 4 books prior to the wedding, so in the case we do not we will continue to read them as newlyweds. When I find myself in times of stress and wishing for a wedding planner, I remind myself that no detail is more important than preparing for a successful marriage, and I think we are setting ourselves up for that pretty well. (:

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Cheers!

Ashley

 

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